Clintasha Feels
by TotalNerd376
Summary: You want 'em? Here they are. TOTAL crackfic. Sorry, I had WAYYYYYYY too much sugar. So, it's their wedding. Yeah. They're not exactly sure whether to invite Tony or not. Sorry, no Coulson. (He's not dead! He's on vacation in Portland, Oregon with the cellist! Gosh! Jerks... ;))
1. Announcement

**Okay, so I'm not actually a huge fan of Clintasha, I think Hawkeye and Black Widow should just be super awesome assassin bros. But I'm at my friend's (SilentFaith's, she's a really good writer, look up Second Gen Initiative) house and we're having an Avengers marathon and I'm hopped up on various kinds of Coke and goldfish and pizza and cupcakes, so yeah. Crackfic. ANYways, here goes.**

Clink clink! Tony continued to talk to Bruce, though everyone else had ceased at the sound of Agent Barton (THE HAWK-MAN!) tapping his spoon against his wine glass. CLINKCLINKCLINKCLINKCLINKCLI NKCLINK KSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHH! Clint hit the glass so hard it broke. Tony looked up as Clint glared at him, the stem of his glass still clenched in his hand.

"Dude. Why'd you break my glass?" Tony said. "That's one of my favorite collections, man. Pep-"

"Tony!" Clint looked ready to kill. After all, he _was_ an assassin.

"What?!"

"I'd like to make an announcement." Clint ground his teeth. _Why was he so irritable lately? He leaped at the chance to defend Natasha whenever anyone said the slightest thing against her, even when Tony was just teasing her. Oops. I've started thinking in 3rd person. Again. Maybe it's time to lay off the drinks. Nah. I'll be fine. I've had worse hangovers._

"So what's stopping you?" Clint glared. Again. _Man, he gives a lot of those lately. _"Okay then. Someone's cranky lately."

"ANYways. As I was saying, I'd like to make an announcement." He smiled at Natasha. "Agent Romanov... _Natasha_ and I are... well, we're going to... what I'm trying to say is..."

"UGH, just spit it out already! I'm getting a headache! Put your money where your mouth is." Clint started towards him.

"I'll put my arrows up your-"

"What he's trying to say," Natasha said cooly as she stood up and placed a hand on Clint's chest, stopping him. "Is that we're engaged to be married."

"Oh come on!" Clint and Natasha both gave Tony sharp looks. Tony sighed as he dug deeply in his pocket, and finally produced a few 100 dollar bills. Pepper smiled as she reached across the table and took the money from him. Clint and Natasha exchanged glances. _Quid putredinem? Nat! No one speaks Latin! Cut it out! ANNNDDDD talking to myself again. I can usually handle a whole lot more drinks than this. What did Tony put in this?_

"Um, you made a bet about-"

"It was Pepper's idea!" Tony was quick to blurt out. Of course.

"Tony, you can't just blame other people for every-" Bruce began.

"Oh, **I **can't blame other people? What about that time in the lab when-" Tony retorted.

"Tony, you _always_ start things-" Pepper argued. Only the captain and the Asgardian didn't join the argument. They just shook their heads and continued eating.

"You know, this meal would be better if there were poptarts included." Thor muttered. Captain Rogers sighed.

"You think everything would be better with poptarts, Thor." Steve replied. Thor grinned.

"Indeed."

**So, yeah. Crackfic. Didja like it? Review and tell me. There will be more chapters coming soon, including their wedding. Many amusing and kinda frustrating memories for Natasha and Clint will come from that.**


	2. Doubts

**Don't read if you don't want to be depressed. Sorry. Inspiration strikes sometimes and I can't refuse it.**

Nat's POV

_Love is for children. I owe him a debt._ Her words to Loki. But was that really all it was? Was she marrying him because she thought it would make him happy and she would finally be free of her debt? Did she tell him she would spend the rest of her life with him, just so that she wouldn't have to feel obligated towards him anymore? Was that really all it was? Or was it because everyone had been hinting about it to them for weeks? Just because of all the hype? Hype?! What am I, buying a computer? O_h come on, Nat. Would you really lie to him like that? Just so that he could say that he was the happiest man in the world and the luckiest? Would you really commit to him like that if you didn't believe with all your heart that you actually loved him?_

Odin's beard, I hope not. Odin's beard?! What the-? I've been talking to Thor too much. Ever since Coulson- No Nat. Not now. _They had been getting ever closer since- recently. The past month had been, well, she had to be honest. It had been nice. She knew Barton- _**_Clint_**_ better than anyone. But she had learned a lot about him, almost more than she wanted to know. But it was more than knowing him. It was more like… being _part_ of him. They were like… what was the saying? Like peanut butter and jelly. Never one without the other. Even though they hadn't even gone on a date. _

Woah. That was weird. Natasha never thought she'd hear herself talking about dating someone. Especially Barton. They had always been partners. But that was it. Partners that, well, became friends because it just happened, and not because they especially wanted to. They got to know each other so well, that it was only right they confide in each other occasionally. But when Clint had proposed, she was flattered, and after all she loved him, but in what way? As a brother? A father? A spouse? She had said yes, in her worst moments, only because she couldn't say no, and she could remove her debt to him. In her best moments, because she wouldn't mind spending the rest of her life with him, at the least, and at the most, she knew she loved him. Just not _how_ she loved him. Her best moments, as it happened, were whenever she was with him. Her worst, when she wasn't. She couldn't decide.

Normally, she would go to **him** for help. But she couldn't, now. Not about this. Who then? Steve? No, he was clueless when it came to women. Bruce? Er…. No. Tony? God forbid. Thor? Ha. As if he could help. She was suddenly struck by a revelation. She had been so used to confiding in Clint and Coulson, she had completely forgotten she needn't always ask a guy about her problems. She had two wonderful women right there, just waiting to be asked for advice. _Wonderful women?! Since when do **you **talk like that, Nat? _She sighed, stood up, and left the room she was occupying in Stark Towers.

They were all gathered there for the time being, since the wedding was to be held in Central Park. She found Pepper and Jane lounging in the living room, chatting.

"Where are the guys?" Pepper and Jane looked up, startled. They still weren't used to her popping up without warning.

"Oh, they're downstairs at the big-screen TV watching football." Pepper informed her.

"All of them?" Natasha was incredulous.

"Yep. Even Steve." Replied Jane.

"Wow." Natasha was impressed. She swallowed. "So, can I ask you guys some advice?"

"Of course!" They exclaimed in unision. She sat down next to Pepper.

"Well, it's like this…"

**So… review? Tell me what you think. PLEASE. Puh-leeze don't be lazy, I REALLY want feed-back. Thanks.**


	3. Did Pepper rehearse that?

**Read, enjoy, and PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!**

"I just don't know if I want to go through with this or not. I mean, I want to, because I'll totally ruin our relationship if I don't, but I kind of don't want to do it without knowing that I really, truly love him and want to spend the rest of my life with him. I just- I want- I need- I DON'T KNOW!"

"You want someone to tell you what to do?" Jane suggested gently.

"Yes!" groaned Natasha. "I NEED HELP! Just tell me what I should do!" she begged. Jane and Pepper shared a look. They had never seen her so upset. They were a bit worried.

"Calm down, Nat. We can't tell you what to do. I know that's the last thing in the world you wanted to hear right now-" Pepper said soothingly.

"It is." Natasha put her face in her hands.

"I went through this with Tony, too, at first. I wasn't sure I wanted to marry someone so irresponsible and flighty. **(Yes, Pepperony IS married in this. So are Jane and Thor.) **What if I got a call one day saying Tony went down with his suit? Worse, what if I didn't get a call? What if I had to watch it on TV and see Iron Man go down all by myself? No gently breaking it, no warning, just.. gone."

"Pepper..." Jane warned quietly.

"Jane's right. You're not doing a lot to reassure me right now." Jane started. She always forgot that Natasha could hear the smallest noise, having been trained all her life. Pepper smiled.

"I'm not done _yet_." Pepper replied. "Eventually, I realized I would feel a whole lot worse if I DIDN'T marry him. He would probably be dead within 10 minutes if I left him. I realized he would be a whole lot less likely to die if he knew I was waiting for him, ready to bandage him up. I could be sort of a beacon to him, to help him keep his will to survive. I know you want me to tell you what to do, but I can't do that. The best I can do is give you **m****_y_** opinion. And my opinion is, it would do a whole lot more good than bad if you married him. Good for the _**both**__ of you._" They stared at her.

"Did you rehearse that in front of a mirror or something?" Jane asked.

"Yeah.. it was almost weird how easily you said that." Nat agreed. Pepper smiled.

"No, but I have been expecting you to ask."

"Really?" Natasha brow's was furrowed. **(Heh heh... such a funny phrase)**

"Actually, I kinda have been, too." Jane admitted. Natasha looked sheepish. "It's not your fault, it's just that I've gotten to know your tells. Everything seemed too okay with you for something to not be wrong." Their assassin friend suddenly looked worried, and it was never a good sign when she showed her feelings so obviously. Natasha leaned forward.

"Do you think Clint's noticed?"

"No." Jane instantly responded.

"Guys are typically pretty oblivious to things like that." Pepper agreed. "Even though you guys have known each other for a while-"

"And he's an assassin, trained to discern people's true feelings and intentions..." Jane reminded her.

"EVEN though all of that is true, I haven't seen any indication that he knows. And I like to think that I'm a pretty good judge."

"Same here. I think he's been too busy with the preparations." Jame laughed. "Busier than you've been." Natasha blushed.

"It's kind of his thing. He likes everything to be organized, and I never really had a really good female role model to know how to put parties and things like that together." Natasha seemed ashamed of her background.

"No need to worry. I'm not great at it either, but there was no way I was going to let Thor do the planning. I don't even WANT to think about what would have happened then. And I had Pepper and Darcy to help me, and I'm sure Pepper will help. I know I'll do what I can."

"I was already thinking what flower arrangements would complement your hair the best." Pepper told Natasha. Natasha looked at Jane.

"What have you gotten me into? I don't even think I've ever worn a dress!" She exclaimed. Pepper and Jane assured her they help her with everything.

"Okay, but only if you promise to be my bridesmaids."

"So you'll marry him?" Jane said eagerly.

"I would ask you if I wasn't going to, would I?" Pepper and Jane both emitted squeals of girlish excitement.

"Now I KNOW I've gotten myself into a mess." She moaned. Pepper grinned.

"You have NO idea."

**So, suggestions for the wedding? I've got enough ideas, but if there's something special you'd like to see, let me know! **


	4. Help!

**Hey, this is kind of a PYSCH! moment. I'm not updating, I need help. I can't figure out how to start the next chapter (which is about the wedding). I guess I could tell you who the bridesmaids and best men were and what everybody wore and stuff, but I feel like that would either be really boring, or you'd kinda enjoy it. After that, there's the... reception, right? THAT is already planned. I guess I'm just not sure "what you want", so to speak. **

**Please review and tell me if you want to know what everyone looked like, or if that would be stupid. If you don't want to be told about the outfits, please tell me what I should put first instead. Thank you! Sorry I've neglected you in my writing. :D There will be more, I promise!**


	5. I need ideas

**Guys, I know I've been a jerk and haven't updated in forever, but I SERIOUSLY need ideas. 20 reviews and I update. Please? :D Thank you for sticking with me even though I still haven't given you your chapter. I've been in a play, and Math Team and all this crazy stuff. Again, please review!**


	6. No Attention Span

**Yeah, I know, I suck 'cause I haven't been updating like I should, but here's the next chapter! Don't hurt me! Please don't hurt me. It's really short, but it's all I've got for you right now. Thanks for sticking with me.**

Clint's P.O.V.Natasha was, well, eye-catching as she walked down the aisle, to say the least. Not just because she was the bride. No. It was more, much more than that. This was all Clint could think as she came closer and closer. The grace, the poise with which she held herself, the fierce beauty of her piercing green eyes. Anyone passing her on the street would immediately have undying respect for, and probably fear of, her. At least, they'd BETTER. Otherwise Clint would have to show them _just how_ well-made his arrows were. She held her head high, not like royalty, but like she wasn't going to take any crap from anyone. She would take and dish out what she felt was deserved. And no one could deny that she should. Not everyone could draw these conclusions from his teammate's, no, _fiance's_ demeanor, but he knew her better than anyone, even Coulson.

The funny thing? It wasn't even their wedding day yet. It was the first, last, and only rehearsal for it. Nat had let Jane and Pepper talk her into it, as it was the least she could do after they had helped her plan the wedding. Clint suspected, and was likely right, that they had pretty much planned it themselves, and simply asked for her consent on everything. They had no doubt received her consent on everything, and made sure she liked the colors and whatnot, but Clint was pretty sure she hadn't decided much herself. Not that he minded her lack of preference, he wasn't much better than her at this sort of thing. He had no problem with Pepper and Jane taking charge, either. It was unlikely they had done anything less than perfect on the wedding, he was confident that they had hit the nail on the head when it came to fitting it with their personalities.

He blinked. Suddenly, she was right there, looking at him expectantly. It was his turn to talk, and he had been so lost in his thoughts, he forgot to pay attention to the ceremony.

"Uh..." He forgot what he was supposed to say. Oh yeah, this wedding was going to go _GREAT_.

**That was sarcasm, in case you didn't notice. So, yeah. Any thoughts? Please let me know! I'll post the next chapter ASAP! The next chapter will (hopefully) be the actual wedding chapter. This was just kind of a trailer for it. Please review! Just say anything! I don't care what! I need comments and advice.**


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